


Restless

by BloodyJerk



Series: Gems Hunted [2]
Category: Steven Universe (Cartoon)
Genre: Angst and Fluff and Smut, Comfort/Angst, F/F, Mild Smut, Multiple Orgasms
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-17
Updated: 2018-03-17
Packaged: 2019-04-03 16:52:09
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,012
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14000457
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BloodyJerk/pseuds/BloodyJerk
Summary: „Having to get through days without sleep is like living without skin.“Peridot was safe, living with Lapis and far away from any Danger. Still, Sleep never came easy to her...[Set in my Hunted Universe]





	Restless

**Author's Note:**

> Look, I wrote anoter One-Shot! There is even smut in here! Somewhere...
> 
> A little warning in the beginning, Peridot is pretty hard on herself and the way her healing process is working, so if that could be upsetting to you, I advise you not to read this.
> 
> Also, for everyone wondering: Lapis and Peridot use safewords. Everything that happens between them is consensual.

_Life is not all that it's worth_  
_'Cause life is fleeting_  
 _Yeah, but I love you_  
 _And my love surrounds you like an ether_  
 _In everything that you do_  
 _But if you give a little love, you can get a little love of your own_

 

Sleep never came easy to her.

Even when she moved in with Lapis, even when she got into therapy and found a job, sleep never came easy to her.

Sometimes she would find herself pacing through the apartment, trying to find something to do and in the end waking poor Lapis up, who would carry her back to bed and embrace her, stroke her back and whisper to her until she either fell asleep or at least managed to make the older one believe she fell asleep.

Sometimes she sat on the couch, staring at the television in front of her or out of the window into the many windows, into the many dark apartments and lives which were put on hold for the night. Stared at the lamps which hung high between all the skyscrapers and tried to give off the feeling that they weren’t over a hundred floors in the air, in a place that was ruled by technology and machines.

Gems were useful in this country, just as useful as humans and so they had been given the same rights and were almost seen as a normal part of society, normal enough to live a peaceful life.

But a peaceful life gave a lot of space for thoughts and for memories and finally, for the shadows who came at night. The screams, the faces and the pain, which Peridot had almost forgotten.

When on the run, one has no time to think about the past or worry about the future, fear may have been omnipresent but it kept one grounded. The fear to die, to be caught and tortured, it kept one on their toes.

But now that she was save, at least everyone told her she was save now, the fear had changed.

It kept hidden, making her believe everything was fine, that she was indeed finally free and could learn to enjoy life, just to grip her in the middle of the night, to come for her whenever she heard the sirens, to pull her down into the depths whenever someone raised their voice around her.

Before, her fear was real and she could utilize it to survive, but now there was nothing to fear, nothing more than a memory which she was obsessing over. Which was possessing her, destroying her new life before she could even start it.

And while Lapis and her new friends, the brutish sisters Amethyst and Jasper; who had hearts of pure gold, the strict Garnet who always had a word of advice for everyone or the hysteric Pearl, who cared for everyone more than was probably healthy, told her again and again how they understood, how they knew how much she had suffered and allowed her to take as much time as she needed.

Still Peridot felt like they started to grow weary of her and her fears and her panic attacks and how couldn’t they? It seemed like this was all there was to her life, like nothing had changed and she could never get over her past.

It seemed so ungrateful, especially after finding out how much the others had suffered. They all had seen and experienced so much worse and still they managed to get a grip, to get over themselves and their past and help others like her, and here Peridot sat, in the middle of the night, staring at the snow and the windows and the dark apartments and wished she just… wasn’t.

She wished she just stopped existing. For the pain and the fear to stop and most of all for everyone to forget about her and her whining and how much she suffered while everyone else managed to get along just fine.

She didn’t even realized she was crying, again, until she felt the soft tissue on her face, wiping away the tears and the soft breath against her ear.

“It’s okay, sweetheart” Lapis whispered, dragging her close, in her lap and laying her arms around Peridot.

And even if she tried to hold on and be, for once, not such a child, such a damn wimp, still she whimpered and finally Peridot wept and hated herself for it.

She sat in the Lap of her lover, in a luxurious apartment, in the middle of the night after having spent 8 hours in her dream job and was crying because… because what?

Because her childhood wasn’t perfect? Because her life had been rough?

Honestly, this was bullshit.

But she couldn’t stop and Lapis started to gently rock them both, whispering to her and humming softly.

“It’s alright”, she promised again and again, “It’s alright.”

And Peridot knew she didn’t mean everything _would be_ alright or that she should stop crying because, for stars sake, she was in safety.

No, Lapis allowed her to cry. To let it out, no matter how small the problem and how absolutely unnecessary this behavior was, no matter how much sleep she lost herself thanks to the little gem and how often she had found her like that, she allowed her to cry. To calm down. To ground herself.

Lapis waited until Peridot was only whimpering, still humming to her and listening to her little hick ups while she relaxed more and more, exhausted herself more and more.

She was used to it. She knew so well how the little gem felt, what was going through her head and even more importantly, through her heart. She couldn’t count all the times she had found herself lying on the floor, crying and wailing to the stars, screaming and hoping it would get better. She couldn’t count the times she had to pick herself up, just to fall even harder the next time.

But since she found Peridot, since she lived with her, she felt better and better. Caring for her friend, her loved one, made it easier to deal with herself and her own problems, helping the little gem to heal and learn to live helped her to do just the same.

When Peridot finally fell silent, except for a few hick ups here and there, her breath even and low, she finally stood up, carrying Peridot in her arms, keeping her close. The first time she had done that, Peridot had started to fuss and tried to jump out of her hold because she was afraid she was too heavy for Lapis. But the blue gem was so much stronger than her small frame would have ever given away, she had carried far heavier things than Peridot and by now both had come to accept this nightly routine whenever Lapis found her in the apartment, alone and tormented by her thoughts.

Lapis carried her to Bed, laying her down, just leaving to close the bedroom door and getting out of her clothes. When she came back she helped Peridot out of hers and, after engulfing them both in the covers, cradled her lover in her arm, holding her naked form close to her own and sharing the heat of their bodies.

“Let me help you sleep” Lapis whispered, smiling at her little lover, who in return shivered despite the warmth, nodding slowly, hiding her face in the crook of Lapis neck.

Maybe it was questionable this belonged to their nightly ritual, just as Lapis finding solace in helping Peridot, as if her whole purpose was to heal, be useful in any way possible, but it gave her a sense of control and Peridot a way of letting go in safety, allowing herself to fall without fearing the impact, without fearing to shatter.

She mewled when she felt Lapis hands stroking her back, finding their way from there to her sides, to her stomach, wandering lower until Peridot’s mewls turned into gasps.

“Good?” Lapis whispered, keeping one arm around Peridot to keep her close, to keep her still, while spreading her gently, exploring her with her fingers, exciting her.

Peridot nodded, keeping her face hidden while Lapis began to kiss her shoulders.

“I’m glad” She whispered between kisses, listening to groans turning into moans, feeling how wet Peridot got for her, feeling her grinding against her hand. She hadn’t to do much until the little gem whimpered, nails digging into Lapis back as she fell over the edge.

And maybe, normally, Lapis would have stopped here, listening to the heavy breathing until it turned into silent snores, but she knew they wouldn’t come. Sometimes, when she was too tired and fell asleep before Peridot she would steal her way out of bed, walking around the apartment, getting caught up in thoughts again, just to be found by Lapis the next morning, sometimes lying on the couch, the television still on, sometimes lying on the floor in front of one of the windows, shivering and vulnerable.

It broke her heart to see her like that so after a few seconds, to prevent overstimulation or friction burn, she started to caress Peridot’s clit again.

Peridot started to trash weakly, her little whispers of “It’s okay” and “I had enough” trying to convince the blue gem to no avail. She knew, Lapis wouldn’t give up until she was too exhausted to stand up again and after a few seconds, she accepted her fate, mostly because she felt Lapis finally entering her, making her moan in response.

“You’re doing so good” Lapis whispered, kissing all over her neck and shoulders again, stroking her back with her free hand, nails slightly scratching but never hurting, never breaking the skin.

It was all too much, too fast and with a weak cry, Peridot came again, writhing against Lapis hold as her whole body got shaken by the sensation.

Aftershocks ran through her and she felt like she was about to pass out, raw and aching, her nerves fried.

No matter how gentle Lapis was, no matter how much she tried to relax, it always left her breathless, tired and limb.

But it wasn’t enough. Not even waiting for her to catch her breath again, Lapis went on, pushing in and out of her in even and long strokes, answering her sobbing and whimpering with whines of her own.

“Just a little more” She promised and Peridot knew she wasn’t telling the truth but she couldn’t find it in herself to care.

By the time Lapis stopped, she was sound asleep, holding her lover close in a dreamless slumber.

\---

Rays of Sunlight woke Peridot, the sound of birds coming from outside the window giving her disorientated mind a clue where she was and what had happened.

Lapis laid beside her, arms keeping her in a tight hug, snoring lightly.

Peridot didn’t knew we she was awake so early, the sun was rising and she was far to exhausted to stand up and get productive.

But she was also too tired to think, a peaceful calm fogging up her mind as she stared to the window, looking into dark apartments, feeling her own life finally on hold.

Lapis had put down the breaks for her, it always felt like that when she woke up after a night like this, Lapis had stopped the whole damn world for a second just so Peridot could catch her breath. Could ground herself and find herself in the reality she had come to love.

She closed her eyes again, listening to the birds outside, feeling the sunlight on her skin.

Sleep never came easier to her than in moments like this.

 

_Well if you are (what you love)_  
_And you do (what you love)_  
 _I will always be the sun and moon to you_  
 _And if you share (with your heart)_  
 _Yeah, you give (with your heart)_  
 _What you share with the world is what it keeps of you_

_\- Noah and the Whale - Give a little Love_

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading! If you enjoyed it, please consider leaving kudos and a comment!


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